The saga of laying new roads in Kerala is an exceptional and long drawn one that would leave you gasping for breath!

 Just before the onset the monsoons, the administrative machinery springs up into action and loads of gravel and barrels of mortar would be unloaded right into the middle of the road. Men and machines reach the spot in no time to begin yet another spell of road laying, which remains nothing but an eyewash many a time.
The potholed road will be swept thoroughly to kick up dust, which would force the shop keepers to down their shutters and pedestrians to scurry for cover to escape the dust shower. Then gravel would be spread in the potholes and a thin spread of mortar is sprinkled to keep them in place. The contractor through his gestures instructs the workers to somehow finish off the work, without bothering about perfection. The left over gravel and barrels of sticky mortar on the middle of the road would remain as eyesores and obstacles for many more days, till some Good Samaritan takes the lead to shove them off to the sides of the pavement.

By the end of the monsoon and the rain fury, the roads would be back to square one with gaping holes and deep fissures all over, which would make driving an arduous task. Nothing happens till the protests from the public and the media reach a crescendo, which wakes up the administrative units from their slumber once again.  Loads of red soil would be put in these holes as a face saving and hole filling measure and to buy time till the rains stop.

Pedestrians would slip and slide on the slippery road as two wheelers continue to splatter muddy water on the hapless road users. Road side vendors and shops would invent innovative methods like placing huge boulders as speed breakers to save themselves from the daily mud splashing ritual.  If you thought that this ordeal would end once the rains stop, you are only making a blind bet!

As the sun starts shining again, mud gets transformed into fine red dust, which would be sprinkled and speckled all over by the speeding vehicles. Kochi would once again look like the red planet Mars, famous for its red soil, and its ill fated residents resemble the aliens with red hair and dust splattered attire. This vicious cycle continues once again with no respite in sight for the ordinary tax payers of this city.

In any average Kerala home, marriages and other festivities are not just occasions of gaiety and celebrations but also anxious moments of finalization of accounts. If you are wondering what these accounts could be, just read on.

Meet Mr. Raghavan Nair, who is all set to conduct the marriage of his first daughter in a few days. As marriage preparations are going on in full gear, he slips off discreetly into his room and dust off the account book safely kept in his locker to flip through the list of potential donors who would be making donations on the occasion of the marriage.

He has meticulously jotted down the amount he has given to other family members and friends during the marriages in their family and expect to be favored in the same coin or a shade better, considering the skyrocketing inflation rates!  He makes a quick mental calculation and a beaming smile appears on his face as soon as he discovers that he would be netting a cool sum and a few sovereigns of gold from his well wishers, who would be paying back the favors received from Mr. Nair both in cash and kind.

If you thought gifts are tokens of love and affection, you are for a sure surprise in this exceptional land of Kerala.

One thing that holds a special place in every malayalee mind is undeniably the glam and glitter of the yellow metal, gold. As soon as the morning newspaper is delivered, every keralite makes sure to update the gold prices!

Weddings are ideal occasions to catch up with the malayalee craze for gold where you can take a peek at the countless petite framed brides laden with tons of gold. In some ostentatious weddings, the surplus jewellery that could not be accommodated on the  neck, waist, hands and legs of the bride in various forms like necklaces, bangles, armlet, and anklets would be even exhibited in a golden platter to show off the financial status and grandiose of the bride’s family.

If you thought gold has a larger than life role only in Kerala weddings, you would be caught napping as babies’ naming ceremonies also flaunt the richness of gold. Even babies, which are only a few weeks old, would be decked from head to toe in gold jewellery. The baby’s mother needs to be extra vigilant to make sure that the bangles and anklets that would be too big for this new born babe do not keep slipping off!

The story would not be complete without mentioning the other side of the affairs where aged ladies who are well past their eighties fall for the lure of gold. Most of these women who would be living alone are inviting trouble by decking themselves with gold. Regular news papers reports of murders and robbery attempts- all in the name of gold, has so far failed to dampen the gold craze of malayalees.

The biggest challenge of Kerala, which is one of the smallest states in India, has always been its space constrain. Flat culture that has taken firm roots in Kerala, has to some extent solved this problem though it has given rise to a host of fresh problems such as environmental issues and pressure on natural resources and infrastructure facilities. Whatever be the pros and cons of flats, the bottom line is that the people of Kerala have whole heartedly endorsed this metro culture and are enthusiastically gobbling up the piping hot offers from flat builders.

Interestingly, the flat culture has also set off many social issues as well. Kerala has always been famous for its close knit, joint family system. However, with the advent of these skyscrapers, youngsters migrated to cities to live among the clouds as the aged parents were left behind in their huge homestead in the countryside. It has made the malayalee families truly nuclear, which preferred to revolve around the small family of husband, wife and one or two kids. Relationships have lost their relevance and reverence as people preferred to fully recoil to their private domain.

Even though a residential building complex would house scores of families only separated by a thin barrier of a common wall, it is paradoxical that people do not know each other. If you go by the axiom ‘out of sight out of mind’, you would be in for a surprise as the community living in flats proves that to be out of mind you need not be always out of sight!

Even if the flat dwellers are seeing each other and bumping into each other at the lobby, the lift and the pool, they do not care to acquaint with each other. Even a death or birth next doors might go unnoticed as many prefer to turn a Nelson’s eye to these affairs. One such family coyly admitted that they only knew about the death of their immediate neighbor from the obituary column of the news paper the next day!

Amidst the daily grinds and chaos, people have long lost their virtues and the only thing that matters most is to mint more money than their neighbor and to buy the latest gadgets and widgets to grab a few eyeballs in the corporate circle.

Food for thought: Are we malayalees frantically chasing the illusive mirror images leaving our real and true selves behind?

Have you ever fancied of a dream job where you can earn a handsome income that too by doing nothing?  If the answer is yes, then turn your gaze towards the streets of Kerala to steal a glance of an intriguing phenomenon. You would see men in striking blue shirts with a menacingly intimidating posture keeping a vigil on all vehicles laden with goods. No, we are not talking about any newly formed elite police force; this men in the blue are loading and unloading employees known in local parlance as ‘attimari’.
 
No matter whether you are shifting your home or transferring building materials to the site you will have to experience an unpleasant close brush with this formidable force of head load workers. They not just fleece the hapless public by charging staggering wages for the work they do, but they could also spring up a surprise by raising a bill for the work they never did. Indeed, not many jobs on planet earth can match the exceptional benefits tagged with this job!

Even if you had employed someone else for loading or unloading the articles, these men might shamelessly ask for their wages, which is known a ‘nokku kooli’ in Malayalam. It would literally mean wages paid for being just onlookers! It goes without saying that this shocking and weird system makes the daily life of countless ordinary mortals, miserable day in and day out.  The general public is destined to mutely put up with all these tantrums because not many would dare to raise a finger against their misdeeds as these men are grouped under influential trade union organizations and political parties.

No wonder that these school drop outs show off the latest mobikes and mobile phones and live in palatial houses which in itself is self explanatory of the advantage of having a lucrative job of this genre!

Guess what is the best way to woo a Malayalee? Shower him with loads of freebies and discount offers to sweep him off his feet!  It forms part of a smart marketing technique as well, in this part of the world where everything revolves around freebies. Just saunter around the business hubs in Kochi to see attractive neon lit boards announcing various types of free offers to entice the potential customers.

‘Buy 1 get 1 free’ slogan seems to the most popular of the lot. If you buy any shirt or dress material you get another one absolutely free! However, application of a bit of common sense would drive home the point that no one gives off anything for free in this consumerist world. The shopkeeper would have definitely added the cost of the both the shirts in the price tag or it could be a shrewd move to liquidate old stuff that are well past their expiry date!

 Free offers also include free world tours, cash prizes and luxury cars among others. So, if you are a game for all these irresistible free offers, head straight to this tiny state of Kerala - the best destination on earth to satiate these urges! Who knows, if your stars are favorable, you would even be driving home a spanking luxury car that was offered to you for winning the lucky coupon that came with every 500 rupee worth purchase! Kerala way of living could well be beyond your logic at times…

Kerala is a land of baffling paradoxes, odd habits and eerie tastes if one go by the mundane affairs of the people of this state. Typically Malayalee parents are over enthusiastic in naming their kids by stringing the first few alphabets of the names of husband and wife- no matter whether these names make any sense or not!

For instance a couple, Shalini and byju preferred to name their first born son as ‘shaby’, without ever considering the fact that it means dirty. Just imagine the plight of this luckless boy who is destined to carry this ‘dirty’ name all his life!

Yet another trend, which can be only seen among the parents of Kerala is picking up rhyming names for the babies. For instance girl children are customarily named something like Teena, Veena, and boys share the rhyming names Praveen, Pradeep and so on and so forth while a boy and gal can be named Renjith and Rejitha!
 
Names should be chosen with great care and love as these form an extension of our personalities. Kerala parents in their over anxiety to express their love for their kids often tend to forget this golden rule.

July 11

Men and Moustache has been associated with each other since ages, and when the talk is about our Kerala men then one can’t imagine these men without their whiskers. But it seems that these Kerala men are shedding their age old manly symbol for a funkier look.

Gopalkrishnan Pillai, 55 an accountant in a private bank and a father of two sons, tells how youth of Kerala are slowly distancing themselves from the ethnic look and are embracing the clean cut shave. ‘Gopal’ takes a trip down the memory lane and fondly remembers his teenage days and how he was proud of his moustache. It was his identity which he still restores with pride.

If we turn back the pages, we would find that every single man was proud of their whiskers, but time has changed so has the ideology of our generation-next. Now moustache on men has become an outdated trend. And even if you will find few with the ‘Mishas’ (moustache) they might be keeping that due to some parental pressure to follow this ethnic Kerala style.

Suraj, 20 a young college boy with a dude look and a fire in his belly believes that one has to move with the time and for him looks matters the most. He with his spike cut and clean shaven look feels more confident and comfortable to stand out with his pals in society. His parents though are not in favour of his so called funky look, but that never bothers this young lad, who defines this to be a generation gap.

All this mixed views point out that the youth of this God’s Own Country is steadily moving at a rocket speed and are aping every new trend out in the global scenario.

Kochi, July 9

You all might have atleast for once travelled in trains, and if your journey is to the heavenly abode Kerala then the trip becomes more interesting and exciting for sure. It is said that you can find Cockroaches, mosquitoes and mallus anywhere and every where, and I think its true.

Where ever they are, but they visit to their motherland at-least once a year or two, they may travel to their native place with a pair of suitcase and bags, but watch out while they return; they have a new member in their luggage. Neatly tied and sealed this smart  cardboard box has been one of the most travel essentials of these Kerala born travellers, when they bid adieu to their mother land with a promise to come back again next year.

Well if you all are quizzing what’s in that cardboard box then, the list is long friends. The box has all the flavours of their hometown, from jack fruit, mangoes, bananas, coconuts and lots more typical Kerala stuffs. Well this treasured cardboard box connects them to Kerala every time they relish the things this box carried for them.

So next time you people make a visit to Kerala don’t get amazed finding this cardboard box with every two travellers.

Thiruvananthapuram: Mobile phones have become a necessity than a luxury in the fast paced modern lives of today. But these smart wireless gadgets are playing havoc among youngsters. School kids have access to even the latest mobile phones with all features like camera and MP3 player, which could be misused to take pictures of unsuspecting fellow students.

The state government is planning to ban the use of mobile phones in the Higher Secondary Schools as a precautionary measure to prevent its misuse. Cyber crimes are also on the rise in Kerala and this move would defenitely be a small step in curbing cyber crimes.